When we are young many of us automatically assume we will follow in the paths of our parents, find a partner and go on to have children. And for most of us this does indeed happen. I can remember excitedly reaching the point in my marriage where a baby was on the agenda. And then waiting in vain as month after month, nothing happened. The first year turned into a second year which then rolled into a third.
It is difficult watching friends around you start their families without so much as a blip. ‘Oh,’ one friend happily told me, ‘my hubby only has to look at me and I’m big with child.’ Jolly good. Jolly, jolly good. Except it isn’t jolly at all. Although you are delighted for your friend and wish her and her growing bump all the love and luck in the world, I would be a liar to say that a part of me was envious beyond belief. I never turned into one of those women who couldn’t look at a pram without bursting into tears, although again I would be a liar to say a tiny bundle tucked into a sea of fluffy blue or pink blankets didn’t make me feel sad. I eventually made an appointment with a gynaecologist to find out what was wrong. And then, just as I was about to have investigative surgery, I was suddenly pregnant.
My son was born nine months later and it was a joy. Hurrah. A mother at last. I took great delight in wheeling my own pram around and showing off my own tiny bundle tucked into said blue sea of fluffy blue blankets. But hormones are a funny thing. After promising God that if I were granted just one child I’d never ask for another, I found myself longing for Baby Number Two. I wasn’t surprised when, once again, the months turned into years. This time around I did have investigative surgery. And discovered that thanks to a burst appendix and peritonitis at the age of 19, I had almost totally blocked fallopian tubes and scar tissue stuck all over my intestines. The gynaecologist was amazed I’d ever achieved a pregnancy with my son. So everything was put right and, thankfully, my daughter followed very soon thereafter.
Some of us become parents so easily, and for others it is a real difficulty. But of one thing I am sure. It is a blessing to be a mother and one for which I am very grateful. Happy Mother’s Day everybody.