Sunday, 13 January 2013

What is a cat's way of keeping law and order? Claw Enforcement.


I’m currently in possession of two legs that look as though somebody has been scribbling on them with red and brown felt pens.  However, upon closer inspection you will see the red bits are bloody wounds and the brown bits are scabs.  Nice.  Well not really.  It looks quite disgusting actually.  ‘Look at the state of your legs,’ said Mr V.  I have to agree with him.  The cause?  Our four month old kitten.
          Our ancient dog has reluctantly accepted a furry feline now shares the premises.  Pooch is under no illusions.  She might once have been pack leader, but all that has gone out the window.  When puss arrived, there was a power shift.  In ancient times, cats were worshipped as Gods.  And make no mistake, they haven’t forgotten this.
          ‘Ooooh, naughty Dolly,’ said my daughter upon seeing puss firmly ensconced in the dog’s basket.  No other creature would truly want to laze around on a smelly dog blanket, but the cat does it just to prove a point.  She is a superior being, therefore she can do what she likes.
          The minute pooch flops down elsewhere and nods off, the kitten turns into Karate Kid.  Thumps, squeaks and grunts abound as long ears are pulled and whiskers pounced upon.  And God help the dog if puss spots her waggly tail.  If pooch makes herself scarce, well there’s always human legs to have a prank or two with.  There’s nothing like being immersed in a new chapter of writing, thoughts in an entirely different world, only to be yanked back to this one by a kitten hanging off your trackie bottoms, claws clamped firmly in a mix of fabric and skin.
          Mr V is a nervous wreck.  His days of watching football and habitually twitching his toes with anxiety are over.  Not unless he wants to have them dived upon, bitten into and mashed to pulp by tiny sharp claws.  These days I’m never sure whether it’s Wayne Rooney causing him to howl or the cat.
          Meanwhile, as I write this piece our kitten is checking out the tap in the utility room.  Water is her latest fascination.  Which reminds me.  Did you hear about the cat that drank five bowls of water?  It set a new lap record...

1 comment:

  1. ^^ oh i understand the cat here also want to play with teh dog wjhen he just want to sleep and he gets what he wants^^;; i need to cut his nails every two week or he is in killer mood ( and legs, boxes are done for)

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