Sunday, 16 June 2013

Happy Father's Day!


Today, in the UK, it is Father’s Day.  This is a day of celebrating the love we (hopefully!) have for our fathers, but also our husbands who may be fathers too.  However, celebrated days like this one can be a bit of a double-edged sword if your father, or the father of your children, is no longer in this world.  Whilst I’m very lucky to still have my father, my children are not so fortunate.  So for them, they will be thinking of their dad with a tear in their eye.  However, they are fortunate to have a step-father who has been very good to them.  And to show their love and appreciation, later on this afternoon we shall treat my father and Mr V to an excellent lunch at the local Italian restaurant.
          Have you noticed that the card shops now do a Happy Father’s Day from the cat card?  And naturally, if you have a pooch, there is a card to be bought on behalf of the mutt too.  Dear Dad, here is your pipe, and here are your slippers, sorry one is chewed, and the other resembles shredded flippers, love from your faithful hound.
          Our pooch is nearly twelve years old.  It would be fair to say it has taken Mr V ten of those years to bond with her.  So when our cat, Dolly, joined the family a few months ago, she was very much on the starting line for winning my husband’s affection.  Not that she hasn’t tried.  It’s just that her idea of endearing habits aren’t shared by the head of the household.  Like curling up on the suit my husband had carelessly flung across the bed... and covering it in hair.  Or pouncing on his socks...with toes still inside.  Or shimmying up legs... whilst wearing flimsy cotton pyjamas.
          I’m not one to watch television, but last Thursday the newspaper headlined an experiment with cats wearing tiny cameras and trackers on their collars.  The idea was to monitor where a moggy went after jumping through the cat flap.  As Dolly has just started venturing outside, I was quite keen to watch the programme.  Mr V managed to pause The Sopranos for a full five minutes in order for me to watch a bit about feline behaviour.  And just when it got to the interesting bit, he pressed the remote control button and man with the weirdest hair-do I’ve ever seen (dark brown with side silver panels) filled the screen.    Anyway, I digress.
          What I did learn from my five minute viewing, is that the average female cat only strays fifty metres from her home.  Which was music to my ears as I’ve been totally neurotic about Dolly (a) getting lost or (b) finding the road and getting...let’s not go there.  Suffice to say Dolly hasn’t actually ventured out of the garden, preferring instead to spy on sparrows or chase gnats, leaves, and the dog’s tail, but not necessarily in that order.  And as neither the cat or dog are drivers, I will take a trip to the local card shop and buy a Father’s Day card on their behalf.
          Meanwhile, if you want to tell your father a joke on Father’s Day, try this one:
          Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today?  To whom am I speaking?
          Voice: This is my father...

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