Saturday, 3 May 2014

Me, myself, I(pad)

 
 
            ‘I’ve done it!’ I proclaimed, coming in through the front door.
            ‘Done what?’ asked my daughter.
            ‘Bought a mini iPad.’
            ‘You mean an iPad mini,’ Eleanor corrected.
            ‘That’s what I said.’  I reverently set my purchase down on the dining room table.  ‘And this time, it’s mine.’
            ‘Let me see?’
            ‘No,’ I instantly snatched up the little white box with its bitten apple logo.
            You see, this isn’t the first time I’ve bought an iPad.  My first attempt at acquainting myself with the gadget was a couple of years ago.  Except my daughter suggested we share it.  And then, of course, the purchase just happened to coincide with her fast approaching birthday.  So in fact it ended up being her birthday present, with me supposedly having a go on it here and there.  Except here and there, as you’ve probably guessed, only materialised on the days the moon turned blue.
            The second time I bought myself an iPad was last year.  My son took one look at it and said, ‘You know how you always insist that you treat me and Ellie the same?’
            ‘Er…yes,’ I looked at Robbie warily.
            ‘Well, that’s not strictly true.’
            ‘What do you mean?’
            ‘My sister has an iPad, but I don’t.’
            ‘It was her birthday present.’
            Rob grinned broadly.  ‘I just thought I’d remind you that I have a birthday looming.’
            I sighed, and wrapped up the iPad in gift paper.  After all, what did I want with such a gadget?  I couldn’t even send an email on my Smartphone, let alone talk to Siri.
            However, I revised this drop-out attitude after my parents’ recent sixtieth wedding anniversary celebrations.  On that night, I was very cross with myself for failing to charge up my digital camera to take to their celebratory ‘do’.  I thought my camera was the bee’s knees.  After all, it came in a box with a vast sticker screaming ‘Five Megapixels’.  I realised how lacking it was when I heard that Nokia’s Lumia phone has a forty-one megapixel camera.  And glancing around at the many guests taking pictures of my parents cutting their diamond anniversary cake, half the guests weren’t snapping away with a five megapixel digital camera.  They were using iPads.  When my uncle strolled past clutching such a gadget, it was the last straw.  My uncle is nearly eighty.  If an eighty-year-old can keep up with technology, then surely to goodness I can – especially when I’m off to Canada in August to visit precious family and dear friends.  I want to capture the memories.  
             So yesterday, for the third time, I bought an iPad.  This smaller version is much more suitable for slipping into my handbag.
            ‘Ooh, isn’t it a lovely size,’ said Eleanor after grappling the box from my grasp.  ‘It’s perfect for slipping into my handbag.’
            Was this kid a mind reader?
            ‘Indeed.  Except it’s going in my handbag.’
            ‘Gosh, and sixteen gigabytes,’ said Eleanor, ignoring me.  ‘Mine is only eight.’
            I kept my silence, and waited.  I wasn’t the only one who could mind read, and knew what was coming next.
            ‘You know, Mum, you’d be much better off having my old iPad to mess about on, and instead give this one to me.’
            ‘You don’t say!’ I turned to my daughter wide eyed.  ‘Tell you what…I’ll share it with you.  But only when the moon turns blue.’
            ‘Eh?’
            I left my daughter to think about it.  Which reminds me.  If Apple made a car, would it have windows…?

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