Sunday, 13 November 2016

When Life Deals You Lemons…Blow a Raspberry


What a flippin’ week.  Well the biggest news, of course, was that America has a new President.  As someone wittily said, Orange is the new Black.  I’m not a knowledgeable person about politics, and I don’t pretend to be either.  I have only a vague idea why Country A hates Country B and why Country C is upping their collection of nuclear weapons at Country D.  I choose to mostly live in a bubble because it’s absolutely true that ignorance is bliss.  However, I like to think I know a bit about polite manners and good morals, and I haven’t seen “President” Trump display either. From idiotic remarks about racism to astonishing sexist remarks, he instantly struck me as a brash egotistical man.
          I was rooting for Hilary who presented as a well-spoken, educated woman with several shreds of common sense until, uh-oh, somebody somewhere made sure political dirt hit the presidential campaign fan with a small matter of thousands of dodgy emails under investigation and the suggestion she’d helped fund IS.  Even though she was eventually cleared, one cannot help but remember the saying: No smoke without fire.  And let’s also remember that the House of Clinton hasn’t been without its scandals and lies over the years.

          ‘If you’d been American, who would you have voted for?’ I asked my son, who loves politics and is well informed.

          ‘Neither,’ he declared.  ‘Both candidates were awful.’
          As the week progressed I felt increasingly out of sorts and put it down to the inevitable mudslinging on social media, the usual, “If you voted for him/her then unfriend me now.”  You know what’s truly wrong with this world?  I’ll tell you!  It’s as obvious as the nose on your face.  People don’t love each other enough.  THAT’S what’s wrong.
          If we all truly loved each other there wouldn’t be a need for armies.  Or nuclear weapons.  Or building walls.  Or spatting over which bit of soil belongs to which country. Or whether you can recite the Qur’an, Zaboor, Bible or the Torah and not get executed for reading the “wrong” holy book. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO START LOVING.  And I’m pretty damn sure that message is in all the holy books.
          Which reminds me.  A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, ‘Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!’ A pastor hears this and asks, ‘Why are you calling them “damn” fish?’ The boy responds, ‘They are dam fish because I caught them at the local dam.’ So the pastor smiles and buys a couple of fish and takes them home to his wife.  He asks his wife to cook the dam fish. Surprised, the wife says, ‘I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.’  He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his teenage son to pass the dam fish. The teen responds, ‘That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the sodding potatoes!’